Technolgy? What technology?

Like most other technology, the Internet was largely the province of government, geeks and pornographers for its first few decades of existence. You had to be either remarkably forward-thinking and skilled or else uncommonly desperate to see naked ladies to be willing to deal with the yards of phone line and appalling load times associated with getting information from a computer in Iowa to the one in your den.

Then, also like most other technology, the Internet started to gain a bit of momentum. Most folks had heard of it. Some people had even used it. "You've got mail" was a clever catch phrase and not something that drove every self-respecting Webhead within earshot to go jump off the roof. When pressed, officials allowed that perhaps one day, socializing and even trade might take place over servers rather than counters. Mainstream people were hopefully anxious and cautiously optimistic in a way they hadn't been since World War II ended. It was a period I like to call the '90s.

Now the Internet has ceased to be technology and has become a necessity. At some point when we weren't looking, it moved past the espresso stage and became more like water .. it's not a luxury, it's a basic human need.

That fact was reinforced this year by a Dec. 24 article in the UK's Guardian newspaper. For years, Christmas shopping has increasingly been done online, but for the first time ever, it looks as though Internet sales are actually cutting into store's face-to-face take.

"The predicted Christmas rush for last-minute presents was decidedly muted yesterday, as shoppers appeared to have stayed away instead of making for the high streets," wrote reporter Jo Revill. "Even in London's Oxford Street, the barometer of shopping frenzy, retailers' hopes of a final spree on the last full day of trading looked feeble, as the pavements proved easy to navigate."

The bottom line is that if your business wasn't wired this year, you lost money, period. Of course, it's the rare enterprise that doesn't have at least some Internet presence these days. But 15 years ago, who would have guessed that this thing would become the cornerstone of everybody's marketing plan?

Apple's iPod is largely responsible for this. I just got my first one, and now I'm facing the very real possibility that I may never again buy a music recording that exists in the physical realm. Anything that Beethoven or Bob Dylan ever did can be broken down into a numerical sequence, filed away and then injected directly into the human ear canal. This is the first step into science fiction: Merchandise has become an abstract concept. And yet I'm strangely fine with that.

The clincher came on Christmas Eve, when I walked into my grandfather's living room and saw my parents competing in an online word game using a pair of wireless-enabled laptops. It's not that my parents aren't tech savvy, it's just that neither of them has ever been big fans of video games or the Web. I can recall a distinct lack of sympathy when I used to complain about losing at "Rise of the Triad" or "Goldeneye" back in the day. (In fact, I can recall people making me turn the game off entirely.) But now I could clearly see my dad struggling with the urge to pitch his computer across the room when someone started running up the score on him in "Bookworm." It was awesome.

But that's when I realized that I was looking at the situation the wrong way. They might as well have been playing Monopoly, for all the excitement involved. The only folks who still see the Internet as a cutting-edge phenomenon are those of us who were the right age to jump on board in the early days. For everyone else, for those older or younger than us, it's just something you use when you need it and forget about the rest of the time, like ATMs or automobiles.

The part that tickles me is that my grandpa worked in computers for much of his life and continues to follow them closely. He probably saw this Internet thing coming in about 1982 but didn't tell anybody because they wouldn't have believed him. I'd wager that he's the only 80-year-old in America who got into a debate about Bluetooth networking over Christmas dinner with his grandchildren and soundly beat them both. So whenever somebody whips out their newest electronic gadget at family gatherings, it usually takes him about five seconds to recognize the principles at work and suggest ways to make the thing work better. Maybe that's why I'm still so fired up about technology that's now commonplace .. while everybody else has moved on to the next big thing, I'm still trying to catch up to good old granddad.

......

This year I'll try not to drink so much. This year I'll try to stand up straight. This year let's live like mfarley@register-pajaronian.com never lived before. This is our year for sure.